there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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