So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
