he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
