He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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