I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
