girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
