I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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