In the future we'll all be gay
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Farmville is her only friend.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
