That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize