the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
