So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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