another moral hangover. fuck.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize