Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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