Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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