direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
