Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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