I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize