i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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