So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize