please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i will never coherently bang her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
