There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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