After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize