so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
