i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
