Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
