have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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