i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
send nudes
from the living room?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
