I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
