"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
