Taylor Swift is so right about you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
