You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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