yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
