My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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