What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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