Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize