i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
