I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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