You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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