now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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