Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
