I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
