Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize