Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
