I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
