you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize