Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My legs feel like baby dolphins
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
