She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
