Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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