Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
