do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
