real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
