in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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