I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
