White coat. Heels.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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