garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is it penis luge time yet?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
