rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
