Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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