garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
