Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
