He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
